Healing After The Storm
by kayotic718
Summary: After Karkat isn't seen or heard from in a week or so, Kanaya begins to get worried. Very worried. After seeing the condition of her close friend, she realizes that all wounds need to be healed from Gamzee's sober murders, before it all falls apart beneath them. (Includes several background pairs, pale KarNaya, possible triggers, and extreme fluff.)
1. Chapter 1

Kanaya Maryam is the first one to notice that Karkat Vantas is gone. While working on a Letterman jacket for his wriggling day, which was coming up a while later, but she wanted to have it ready in time, the Virgo's mind wandered off to the memories with and of the Cancer troll who was one of her best friend. It had been over a week since last seeing and talking with the other. Clicking her tongue against the roof of her mouth quietly, she placed the project down, determined to get some information on his whereabouts.

* * *

Asking others was the second thing that she had done, besides doing a thorough sweep over of the area, except troll's respiteblocks, or human bedrooms. Sure, she may have been a meddler, but invading other's privacy was not something that the troll did. And, if she did ever do it, the results were usually catastrophic. That, was not something she wanted. It wasn't a very favorable outcome, either.

At first, question asking was utter hell. Rose was too drunk to hold the conversation for longer than a minute and a half or so, and after that point her words were too slurred to be comprehended anyways. Sighing softly, the jade blood continued on, searching for Terezi. "Hey, Terezi?" she asked, eyes catching sight of the formerly blind Libra who appeared to have bruises scattering her grey skin. For a moment, the teal blood's eyes widened, gaining a 'deer in the headlights' glare over them for a millisecond, before returning to normal. "Yeah? What's up?"

"Have you seen Karkat lately?" Worry laced her tone, a pale type of worry that Gamzee should have spoken with, if he had even noticed that the latter was gone at all (he and Terezi's relationship had without a doubt become a black one). With a shrug and a small, "Sorry," she strolled off.

Probably going to pail with the kismesis she's been trying to keep such a secret from Karkat, and everyone, actually. The rainbow drinker grumbled internally, tone disdainful. She couldn't help it. The clown needed to go down, but there was no need to hide it from the mutant, or from anyone for that matter. This was going to be more difficult than she thought.

After asking The Mayor (Karkat usually provided some extra cans for Can Town), Dave, John, and basically everyone who had a positive link to the crimson blood, there were no straight answers. She had considered asking his 'official' moirail, and promptly decided to abscond her rationality the hell out of that thought, and quickly. But she wasn't the only one who had noticed his strange disappearance, thankfully. Everyone she asked knew, or at least were concerned when mentioning her observations. No one knew where he was, though, or his last whereabouts from later than last Tuesday, according to Dave and The Mayor, who said that he had helped rebuild the jail when it was accidentally knocked over by John's breath abilities. John, however, saw Karkat the night earlier, but that was it. He had completely dropped off the map.

"Oh goodness... what if he's- no, don't think like that. If he was dead there would have been more of a commotion. But no one's looked in his respite- wait! His respiteblock!" That was it! The one thing that had lingered in the back of her mind since everyone the Virgo had queried had answered the question of the Cancer's whereabouts: she hadn't checked his block yet! "Why didn't I think of that earlier?!" she exclaimed, very thrilled with her realization, but also kicking herself mentally for not doing so before asking. Well, no going back now, she supposed.

There was only one thing to do, really. The one thing that would decide where Karkat Vantas was. His respiteblock was the only place he could be. If he was alive, he couldn't be in very good shape, or so she assumed. If he wasn't... shudders ran up her spine at the thought. Don't think about that, Kanaya. He has to be alive. He needs to be safe. With a nod of complete determination, she clenched her fists for a fraction of a second, and then she walked off. Off to Karkat's respiteblock, the only place where she knew he could be now.

* * *

Three solid and steady knocks were given on the door of the room of the other, and she calmly waited, calling out his name once to allow him to know who it was. Hopefully, he would be able to hear her through the wood. But this wasn't something she doubted. He could always hear her, even if he was asleep, which she hurriedly apologized for once he mentioned that he had been sleeping. He didn't mind, though, when she came over, they just talked, or the two watched one of his cheesy romance movies in the time that he didn't have a moirial when he was feeling down.

No answer came from the knocks. Her head tilted to the side, neat, silky, and smooth strands of her ebony hair flowing with the motion. "Karkat are you in there?" she asked, voice louder than the first time she had spoken. As she began to add something onto her beginning statement, but was cut off.

"Go away, Kanaya..." the voice from the other end was hoarse, lingering, pitiful, and most of all, sounding as if he was on the verge of tears.

"No. I'm not leaving. I've been concerned about you since before you just faded off the radar," she countered, voice stern in a maternal way. The way that a mother would scold a small child for doing something wrong.

"JUST GO THE FUCK AWAY! WHY THE HELL DO YOU CARE ANYWAYS?!" Her hand hesitated on the doorknob. He wouldn't hurt her. He wouldn't hurt anyone without a good reason. In rage, Karkat never was one for extreme violence unless it was uncontrollable, or so she assumed.

There had always been certain moments in her life where autopilot just took over without her permission. When the Virgo had slammed the door open in one fluent, not to mention loud, motion, was one of them.

But when she realized everything her eyes were taking in, shock flowed through her body like blood.

She should have come earlier.

* * *

**Second pale KarNaya fic woo-hoo! This ship is my life I'm not even kidding. **

**Reviews would be great.  
I love you all.  
The reviewers on my last fanfiction of this ship were so sweet.**

_**TRIGGER WARNING ON THE NEXT CHAPTER FOR THE FOLLOWING:  
Self harm  
Depression  
Graphic descriptions of violence/wounds/etc.**_

**(I'll repost this warning on the next chapter at the start, too, just thought I would put it here now.)**


	2. Chapter 2

**TRIGGER WARNING FOR  
_Depression  
Self harm  
Graphic description of violence/wounds/etc._**

* * *

The room was completely in ruin. That's how she knew something was wrong. Lighting in the area was so scarce because of the nearly burnt out lightbulb, the rainbow drinker was very happy with the fact that her pale skin now glowed like a nightlight twenty-four seven. Everything was in disarry, romcoms knocked away from their stacks, the books that he had, along with the ones he had borrowed from her, torn or covered in a thin layer of dust. One seemed to be covered in what appeared to be tears, and the novel was still slightly damp to the touch. The posters of the movies that the Vantas seemed to treasure were torn and scattered among the floor. Dirty clothes were formed in a pile that the troll was now curled up in, tears streaking down his face a- oh shit, was that a fucking razor in his hand? "**KARKAT, NO!**" Kanaya exclaimed, heart nearly stopping in her chest for a moment as she rushed over to him, eyes wide as she snatched the blade away, tears starting to cluster in her eyes.

He looked completely exhausted, physically and mentally. Greasy, obviously unwashed hair hung in front of his dead, grey pupils and yellowed eyes, the pale tears mingled with what she assumed were tearstains on his cheeks. Obviously, considering how much paler he was, he hadn't left this room since he entered, nor had he come out and eaten anything, or anything more than small portions. The bloody cuts that danced across his wrist, though, was the worst part. Deep and gaping gashes on his skin gushed with his own mutated blood that she knew that he had grown to despise. There was too much of the crimson red for her to handle at that second. Had he been trying to kill himself? Panic started rising up in the mind of the jade blood. "Let me help," she fretted, pulling out her first aid kit from her fetch modus. The reaction to her statement almost made Kanaya's heart-break from the overwhelming sense of pity that washed over her. The strangled sobs that were already escaping from the usually short-tempered troll became louder and more free-flowing, showing just how much hurt he was feeling. Surprisingly, though, through the waves of sobs, Karkat nodded.

As Kanaya worked, every once in a while she would warn him about what she would do next, if it would sting a little, anything that he wouldn't be expecting, just to make sure he remained in the loop and unconfused. Which, as she could tell, was what he needed severely at the moment. Steadiness and clarity were the two things that were lacking in this environment of self-imposed solitude.

Once the rainbow drinker had finished up the job the best she could, her eyes glanced over to the latter's. Tentatively, one of her glowing hands moved up to the sleeve that hadn't been rolled down. He continued sobbing quietly, but didn't smack her hand away. Upon noticing this, Kanaya's movements to roll up the soiled sweater were quicker and more fluent, trying to get the job done efficiently. The task, to make sure he hadn't done on the hidden arm what he had done on the other. But, sadly, he did. Worse, actually. "Oh, Karkat, dear, why would you do this to yourself?" Kanaya mumbled softly, her eyes scanning over the word '_mutant', _carved into his skin jaggedly. The lines to create the letters were white, symbolizing that he had done this an awful long time ago to himself.

Her question, however, was greeted with no answer. Gently, she rolled down the sleeve, the word now hidden away once more. The second question, one she hadn't ever wanted to ask, slipped from her lips without thinking.

"Where's Gamzee?" He should be with his 'official' moirial in this situation, the Capricorn should be here for his friend. The two were in a pale quadrant now, for fuck's sake! Or... last she checked.

As she dreaded (and expected), the Cancer suddenly burst into hysterical sobs, every single shard of composure that he had clung onto for dear life gone. It took a good long time of gentle hugs, cradling, and shoosh papping for him to become collected enough to speak. Though she just wanted to shush him until he was happy again, but that wasn't the case now. He just needed someone to vent to.

"He b-broke up w-with me," the troll blubbered, face buried in her neck as he spoke. "Called me selfish and a m-mutant... And that's what I fucking am. No one's gonna pity my s-sorry ass enough to be in a quadrant with me! No one! I-I should just die like the shitty piece of l-leader trash that I am! I FAILED A-ALL OF YOU ANYWAYS!" And from that point on, Karkat Vantas became a big ball of suicidal feelings with a gaping hole in it, allowing him to release all the terrible emotions that had welled up in his mind.

Once the rant was over, he just started crying again. No, wailing. But this time, she shushed him and papped him until she realized that he was beginning to doze off against her, the last remnants of the warm, pale red tears dripping and then soaking into the skin of her neck. "N-No one's gonna pity m-me enough... I don't even deserve this, you shouldn't be helping me."

"I pity you very much actually. For a couple sweeps now, I've wanted nothing but to take care of you, to keep you calm, to listen to you," she confessed, completely truthful.

"Bullshit, you're lying. You have Rose, and you're just saying that to make me feel better."

Sighing softly, she pecked the top of his head in a rather pale manner. "Shush. I don't lie about these things. And I will cuddle you, even if you don't like it, to prove it. So there."  
Secretly, the idea of cuddling with her was absolutely wonderful, since Gamzee had never done anything to really calm him down, everything had been so unbalenced with the clown. But, he only nodded, eyes shutting, since he no longer had the energy to say anything else.

And so, him curled up against Kanaya, who was leaning up against a wall, he dozed off. The last thing he felt, was him being nuzzled ever so gently. That was the best thing he had the sensation of feeling in a long time.


End file.
